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 Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9

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PostSubject: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Fri Dec 24, 2010 6:38 pm

Chapter 9: Seperate Ways

Hawk: Woah calm down bro.

Chris: CALM DOWN?!

Hawk: Yeah......

Chris: HOW THE F*CK CAN I CALM DOWN?

Hawk: Just take a pillow and....

Chris: NO I MEAN HOW THE F*CK CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN I LOSE EVERY SINGLE F*CKING BATTLE I TRY OUT!

Hawk: Don't worry your a good trainer.

Chris: YOUR JUST SAYING THAT!

Hawk: No I'm not I really mean it.

Chris: YEAH RIGHT! THATS WHY YOU KEEP KICKING MY @$$ IN BATTLES!

Hawk: No its not like that!

Chris: SHUTUP!

Hawk: Actually, you shutup Mr. Flippy Pants.

Chris: You did not just call me that........

Hawk: I did.

Chris: F*CK YOU!

Hawk: ........

Chris: I'm so sick and tired of you Hawk!

Hawk: What did I ever do?

Chris: Ever since we started this journey you have been so annoying. Always beating me in battles, and all that.

Hawk: I'm the one who tried to save you from Bobby Jackson!

Chris: I DIDN'T NEED YOUR F*CKING HELP BACK THERE.

Hawk: Calm down!

Chris: NO!

Hawk: ....

Chris: Then, you were to lazy to swim away from shore to get away form that Sharpedo.

Hawk: But did you help me? No! It was Kingler.

Chris: Screw your Kingler!

Kingler emerged from its Pokeball.

Kingler: King ler! (F*ck you!)

Chris kicked Kingler.

Hawk: WTF!

Hawk returned Kingler.

Hawk: Why would you kick my Kingler?

Chris: Cuz its stupid.

Hawk: MY POKEMON ARE NOT STUPID!

Chris: Of course there stupid Razz

Hawk: grrrrrr.....

Chris: ..... Your not a Pokemon, you can't use Growl.

Hawk: GRRRRR!!!!!

Chris's attack fell.

Chris: WTF! AUTHOR YOUR RETARDED!

Author: Leave me out of this.

Hawk: ........

Chris: I fell like leaving you Hawk, and going on the journey by myself.

Hawk: Why?!

Chris: It would be so peaceful.

Hawk: Well acually, I think that would be a good idea. Maybe we can go our seperate ways!

Chris: Fine with me.

Hawk: I found you annoying too.

Chris: How?

Hawk: Always complaining about how much you suck, not bothering too help me out, always battling people and never giving me a chance.

Chris: Not uh!

Hawk: Yeah. I remember when we were gonna battle Alex but you wanted too do it and wouldn't let me even though you suck!

Chris: I DO NOT SUCK!

Hawk: Yes you do Razz

Chris: Well if you really feel like that, then GOODBYE!

Hawk: Bye!

Chris went on up the Route. Hawk went back to the Pokemon Center.

Hawk: Tommorow, I will start my real journey, by myself!

Nurse Joy: Want the free room? Razz

Hawk: Hell no those beds suck. I'll take the $100 Pokedollar room (this money I stole from Chris will come in handy.)

Nurse Joy: Ok, have a good night sleep.

Meanwhile......

Chris: Yes I'll buy the Ultra Ball..... WAIT! WHERES MY MONEY!

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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Fri Dec 24, 2010 7:20 pm

in the game pokeballs are $200
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Fri Dec 24, 2010 11:07 pm

Oh. My. God. What the hell did I just read nine chapters of? This is... like... reading a bad comedy. The jokes are AWFUL and the breaking of the fourth wall is ANNOYING AS HELL. The storyline... wait, what storyline? THERE'S NO POINT TO THIS STORY! It's just a jumbled up abomination of ASSNESS. F*ck man, what did I read? I think my eyes are burning from the awful randomness of this "story". This is just... bad. Rowan is WAY out of character -______- This story is just bad.
Rating so far: 3.5 out of 10
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sat Dec 25, 2010 12:52 am

jd896 wrote:
Oh. My. God. What the hell did I just read nine chapters of? This is... like... reading a bad comedy. The jokes are AWFUL and the breaking of the fourth wall is ANNOYING AS HELL. The storyline... wait, what storyline? THERE'S NO POINT TO THIS STORY! It's just a jumbled up abomination of ASSNESS. F*ck man, what did I read? I think my eyes are burning from the awful randomness of this "story". This is just... bad. Rowan is WAY out of character -______- This story is just bad.
Rating so far: 3.5 out of 10
your a jerk to my grandson
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sat Dec 25, 2010 1:59 am

Uh huh, I'm POSITIVE he's your grandson *sarcasm*

I'm stating my opinion. The plot is AWFUL, I don't even know what's going on half the time, and overall, it's a bad story. Enough said.
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sat Dec 25, 2010 2:46 am

Whats wrong with the plot? Its clear where this is going. Btw that is my grandma.

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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sat Dec 25, 2010 4:01 am

It's clear where it's going? All I know is that "Hawk" and "Chris" are in the Sinnoh League. Read my other post for the full critique.
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sat Dec 25, 2010 4:26 am

jd896 wrote:
It's clear where it's going? All I know is that "Hawk" and "Chris" are in the Sinnoh League. Read my other post for the full critique.
There not in the Sinnoh Leauge yet they just started there journey! You probably didn't even read. Its clear how they get there starters. I guess the storyline could be a little better cuz they have been in Sandgem Town for the past 7 chapters.

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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sat Dec 25, 2010 4:59 am

*sigh* Well the journey's supposed to be about it and yes, you need to get away from Sandgem lol
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sat Dec 25, 2010 6:29 pm

I was keeping them there until Chris lost enough to flip out.

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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sat Dec 25, 2010 6:42 pm

Could've moved to another town... <_<
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sat Dec 25, 2010 6:51 pm

I gues syour right, but its gonna get better now. Now the main story begins, HAWK'S adventure (without chris)

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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sun Dec 26, 2010 2:22 am

i give this whole adventure a 4 out of 5
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sun Dec 26, 2010 3:21 am

Explain your rating.
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sun Dec 26, 2010 3:35 am

D00ms wrote:
i give this whole adventure a 4 out of 5
Thank you Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sun Dec 26, 2010 5:08 am

No one's seen a real fan fic besides mine, have they? -____-
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sun Dec 26, 2010 5:24 pm

jd896 wrote:
No one's seen a real fan fic besides mine, have they? -____-
Well this place isn't for profesional's so if your gona criticise, gtfo of my chapters.

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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Mon Dec 27, 2010 2:00 am

Criticism is for all stories. It makes a person write better. And I never stated "professional". Stop twisting my words around.
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Mon Dec 27, 2010 2:21 am

Well your tyring to say mine is not a good fanfic, well its not profesional so thats obvious.

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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Mon Dec 27, 2010 2:26 am

I never said it was professional. I am entitled to saying it's not good though, because in MY OPINION, it isn't. Case closed.
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Mon Dec 27, 2010 3:24 am

Ok fine. My story will get better though.

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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Wed Jan 12, 2011 4:55 pm

i thought this was a good chapter, especially when hawk growled Chris' Attack fell
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sun Mar 20, 2011 4:55 am

....haha people atacks....=O CRIMINAL!... why would he need an ultra ball now?
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PostSubject: Re: Hawk's Pokemon Adventures in the Sinnoh Region Chapter 9   Sun Mar 20, 2011 4:57 am

Idk I just randomly put Ultra Ball.

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